What is a Friend with Benefits (FWB) and How to Find One


Kait Sanders

December 12, 2019


With all the acronyms flying around these days through text and social media, you may be wondering what in world FWB means. Well, to put it simply, the definition of FWB translates to friends with benefits. More and more often, people are looking for a friendship with benefits over a serious relationship or a casual hookup.

With the millennial generation leaning more towards alternative relationship styles, FWB relationships offer people more than just a one night stand, but without the pressure of a monogamous relationship. If this type of relationship sounds appealing to you, read ahead to find out exactly what an FWB is and how you can find one for yourself.


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What is a friend with benefits?

Let’s break this whole FWB thing down a little bit more. The definition of friends with benefits is friends who share special benefits with each other, specifically of a sexual nature. FWBs can be people who started off as friends who decided to throw caution to the wind and have some sexy fun with each other with no strings attached.


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In other cases, FWBs are people who have purposefully made a deal with each other to have sex and keep the romantic feelings out of it. Other FWB relationships form when two friends are just sexually frustrated and rely on each other to scratch that particular itch.

Whatever the case may be, the basics of a friend with benefits style relationship rests on the idea that the two of you have a friendly relationship and decided to add sexual activities to your list of fun things to do. FWB relationships are typically non-monogamous since the people involved are just friends.


Is a friend with benefits right for you?

So you now you know what friends with benefits are, but is it right for you? First, the most important thing to ask yourself, is if you want a non-monogamous relationship. The one thing that nearly all friends with benefits relationships share, is that they are no-strings-attached. This means, if your FWB decides to hook up with someone else or vice versa, you both have to be okay with that.

Second, if you have a particular friend in mind that you would love to be your FWB, make sure you are ready for that change. Going from a basic friendship to a FWB relationship has the potential to alter your relationship with that person for good. So make sure that you really want to move in that direction with this person. If that all sounds good and you are ready for some fun with a FWB, then the next step is to find your person.


How to get a friend with benefits:

If you are ready to start looking for a FWB, the perfect person may already be in your life. Maybe you have that one friend who you have always had a little extra chemistry with. If that’s the case, then all you have to do is broach the subject with them and see if they’re down to take it to the FWB level. Open, straightforward communication is the best way to go with this one.

If you don’t happen to have that friend in your life already, no worries–there are a ton of apps and websites out there that you can use to your advantage. Try downloading a dating app and include in your profile that you are looking for a FWB. Let other people know that this is the situation you are looking for and you’ll attract others who are looking for the same thing.

There are a surprising amount of guys and girls out there who want a friend they’re comfortable with to have sex with and still keep the relationship fun and low key. If that’s what you’re looking for, all you have to do is make it clear on your dating app or online dating profile that you are looking for a FWB and you can find a match who’s is seeking the same type of relationship.


How to keep friends with benefits:

Once you find your FWB you have to know how to keep them. There are some basic etiquette rules you’ll want to understand when you are in a FWB relationship. The number one thing to always remember when you have a FWB is to keep the lines of communication open.

If one of you starts to catch stronger feelings it has to be addressed. Make sure to set healthy boundaries so that you can keep your relationship non-romantic. Keep the sexual nature of the relationship casual so that you can maintain the health of your FWB situation. You’ll both stay content for the long run if you can both follow a set of rules and make sure to talk about any concerns that may arise.


Pros of friends with benefits:

  •  You get to have no strings attached sex with someone you are comfortable with.
  •  You have the ability to do fun activities with your hookup buddy. It’s more than just a one night stand.
  •  You have an easy booty call on deck for when you’re feeling pent up.

Cons of friends with benefits:

  • It’s easy to catch feelings for your friends with benefits.
  • Since it’s not exclusive, they may not be available at all times.
  •  It’s hard to transition back to a normal friendship.



Friends with benefits are an awesome option for anyone who wants a relationship that offers more than a one night stand but with more freedom than a traditional, exclusive relationship. Friends with benefits relationships can provide you with a super fulfilling sexual relationship since you are both comfortable with each other, but you’re also free to hook up with other people if the occasion arises. Make sure to keep your FWB content and have a talk if you think like you’re feelings are starting to get serious. Last but not least, remember that having an FWB is all about fun, after all, you are friends at the end of the day!